I Am A Rock
by Phantom Serenity
Summary: He knew why he pushed people away, never allowing them too close. But it wasn't for the reasons they thought. Based off Simon and Garfunkel's I Am A Rock.


I Am a Rock

**Ok, so I love the songs of Simon & Garfunkel. One day listening to "I am a Rock" I realized that it kinda fits The Doctor (I'm all about the Tenth Doctor, David Tennant, **_**YUM**_**) Especially after He had to leave Rose in Pete's World after "Doomsday". So, just a little one shot into The Doctor's thoughts. As usual, don't own anything, cause if I did, David Tennant would still be the Doctor, and Simon and Garfunkel would give me a personal concert every night.**

A winter's day  
>In a deep and dark December;<br>I am alone,  
>Gazing from my window to the streets below<br>On a freshly fallen silent shroud of snow.

The Doctor had just left Donna Noble in front of her house, looking beautiful standing in the snow in her wedding dress. Too bad about her fiancé being in league with aliens and all that. "Maybe I should have…." The Doctor started thinking, then shook his head humorlessly.

_I have my books  
>And my poetry to protect me;<br>I am shielded in my armor,  
>Hiding in my room, safe within my womb.<br>I touch no one and no one touches me._

He goes to the library deep within the TARDIS, pulls out a book from his youth on Gallifrey, hoping to lose himself, to stop the depressing thoughts that have been haunting him all day, yes, even as he watched the Racnoss and the Empress suffer.

Rose.

Rassilon, did he miss her. Till he couldn't regenerate any more, he would hate himself for not just saying the words. Those three words that would have made her face light up one last time. And he knew that there would never be anyone who would touch his hearts like Rose Tyler.

_Don't talk of love,  
>Well, I've heard the word before.<br>It's sleeping in my memory.  
>I won't disturb the slumber of feelings that have died.<br>If I never loved I never would have cried._

He knew the real reason he was alone right now. He knew why he pushed people away, never allowing them too close. But it wasn't for the reasons they thought. He had lost his entire race. He had felt the pain of loss too many times. And watching Rose cry on the beach, it finally got to be too much for him. He swore to himself that he wouldn't do it again. He couldn't do it again. Having a pal, a mate along for the rides, that's one thing. But to allow some human, all pink and yellow, to wriggle their way into his life, to the point where he felt like he couldn't breathe without them by his side…. Well, never again.

_I've built walls,  
>A fortress deep and mighty,<br>That none may penetrate.  
>I have no need of friendship; friendship causes pain.<br>It's laughter and it's loving I disdain._

His hearts ached a bit when he thought of the people he'd let down. Rose, Reinette, Sarah Jane, even Jackie and Mickey, he knew he had failed them all in some way. Maybe he was better off alone. Or, if he ever did have someone along with him, it would be different. He'd have to be more careful. "Be aloof" he thought sardonically. That would be his motto from now on. And they would have to know that he was different, set apart, and not open to anything more. He would make that perfectly clear.

He looked down and realized that he hadn't read any of the book. He smirked, laughing at himself and his foolishness. When he couldn't laugh at himself, he knew then he might as well fly the TARDIS into the sun and be done with it all. When he could laugh, though, he knew he could 'keep calm and carry on' as Rose would sometimes remind him jokingly (Curse it, there goes his mind back to Rose! Focus, old man!)

So he went back to the controls of the TARDIS, smiling at his faithful friend. "Where shall we take ourselves now, girl?" he whispered. He pulled at the controls, and knew that wherever they went, it would be fantastic.

_And a rock feels no pain;  
>And an island never cries.<em>

**So there it is. Yes, it's a little heartbreaking, but after all, didn't all our hearts break when he had to leave Rose? Reviews get virtual cookies and hugs.**


End file.
